Mikey, Ben, and I are standing in the middle of a fucking comic book convention. Mikey has dragged us to one of these yet again. Spending my Saturday afternoon surrounded by a bunch of nerds and geeks is not my idea of fun. We’re in a room full of losers. I can barely stand it. Mikey’s going on about some crappy computer game, and the animation, blah blah. Ben is nodding at appropriate intervals. I’m just trying to wake up from this nightmare, but every time I open my eyes, I realize I’m still here. Much to my dismay. I have to admit the game Mikey’s talking about isn’t half bad, and the animation is actually pretty good. However, I don’t think it warrants a trip to the Tenth Annual Nerd Convention, or whatever the fuck it’s called.

We’re currently waiting in line to get Mikey’s game signed by the animator, while he practically foams at the mouth about "the graphics, the realism," and Ben plays the interested boyfriend. I have no idea how he does it. I’d kill myself if I had to pretend to be interested in this shit. Every few seconds, I look at my watch, praying that we’ll be done soon.

We finally make it to the front of the line and, that’s when I see him, the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. He has this shaggy blond hair that falls over his forehead a bit, and the most perfect lips ever. I’m guessing he’s the animator because Mikey’s practically drooling on him and pushing the game into his face to sign. As he’s signing the game, he turns towards me.

"See something you like?" I can feel myself blush. It’s obvious I’ve been staring. A few seconds pass before I answer.

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Well, you must have found something interesting. You haven’t taken you’re eyes off me," he says with a grin.

Before I can think of a response, Mikey is thanking the animator and dragging Ben and I to another line. We end up spending a couple more hours at the convention. My mind never drifts far from the animator.

XXXXXXXXXX

We decide to go to the diner for lunch, like there’s anywhere else we would go. Surprisingly, Deb isn’t working. We sit in our usual booth, while Mikey goes over all the things he got at the convention. My thoughts are on a certain blonde as Mikey starts once again about "JT, one of the best animators of our time." We’re kind of just letting him talk. Neither of us really care, but when he takes his first pause for breath, Ben throws out a comment.

"Yeah, he seemed like a nice guy."

Nice my ass, "he’s fucking hot." Fuck, I did not mean to say that aloud. I feel my face redden. This guy has me blushing like a fucking school girl. Michael doesn’t even notice our comments. He’s reading his new comic book now.

"Why Brian, are you smitten with JT? I believe you’re blushing." I do what I usually do when someone says something I don’t want to admit to. I roll my eyes, scoff, and tell him to "fuck off." With those words a waitress comes over to take our order and the conversation is officially over.

XXXXXXXXXX

Later that afternoon, I’m sitting in the library trying to focus on my physics homework, when Cynthia calls my cell. I get up and walk out the door so I can talk to her.

"Hey."

"So, how was the Dork Convention?" She asks with false enthusiasm.

"Fucking terrible."

"Find any hot dorks to fuck?" She’s just laughing into the receiver now. I roll my eyes. She’s such a cornball.

"Well, now that you mention it..."

"You fucked someone!" She yells into the phone.

"Jesus Christ, Cyn. Would you shut the fuck up? No, I didn’t fuck anyone. There was this hot blond there though. He was fucking gorgeous."

"Was he a comic book nerd?"

"No, actually he was the animator for one of the games Mikey likes so much."

"An animator? How old is he?"

"Hmm. I don’t know. He looked like he was about 22 but he had to be in his late 20’s."

"Fuck, that’s old!"

"I know, but he was so hot."

"Is he straight?" I laughed at that.

"Definitely gay."

"Did you get his number?"

"No. Fuck. I made an ass of myself. I just stood there, drooling." I could hear her soft laughter at that. "I better go Cyn. I’ve gotta finish studying and head home."

"Okay, see ya tomorrow."

"Yeah, later."

Mikey and I decided to have lunch at the diner today. We both have two hour long lunch breaks since we're taking fewer classes this semester. As soon as I walk into the diner, I see him. The animator from yesterday. I stop in my tracks, unintentionally blocking the doorway. Mikey pushes me out of the way and goes to the counter to say hello to his mother.

I can't believe he's here. First of all, I'm here almost every other day and I've never seen him before. And, secondly, the food here sucks and he looks like he has enough money to eat somewhere else. The only reason I come here is for the free food. I just can't believe he's here. There is no fucking way he eats in this shit hole. But there he is, with a little girl in his arms and a brunet's arm across his shoulders. They look like the perfect little family. The girl must be his, blonde hair, blue eyes.

Mikey hasn't noticed his beloved JT yet. He's talking with his mother about that fucking convention we went to yesterday. As I walk further into the diner, I notice the other occupants of his booth. A blond woman and a man that I think I've seen around before. I'm pretty sure he works at that atrocious clothing store on Liberty.

I try to walk by his booth without attracting too much attention to myself. Before I even pass his table, he looks up. His smile, which is remarkably bright, widens.

"If it isn't the blushing brunet from yesterday." I can feel my face redden. I swear the asshole likes to see me flustered.

"Fuck you."

"In your dreams kid." He has no idea how true that statement is. I woke up this morning with images of blond hair and soft lips playing through my mind.

I decide not to respond to his last statement and just walk past his table to our usual booth, which happens to be behind JT's. Michael is still in an in-depth conversation with his mother and hasn't heard our little exchange. I sit down, my back to their booth. As soon as I sit down, I hear someone, probably the clothing store guy say, "Isn't he just adorable?" I strain to hear the response over the loud chatter of the diner.

"He's too young for you, Em."

"Well, if he's too young for me, than he is definitely too young for you."

"I don't think I have to worry. I wasn't the one checking him out," JT retorts.

"You can't fool me Justin Taylor. I saw your eyes riding his ass. It's the only reason I gave him a second glance." Justin Taylor.

"You're eyesight must be failing you at your old age." Justin snaps.

"If I'm old you're ancient." Fuck, they sound like ten year olds. At that moment, Mikey and Deb walk up to the booth.

"Hey kiddo! Let me introduce you two to Justin and his friends. Justin's even interested in that cartoon stuff you're always talking about, Michael." With those words she turns towards the booth ahead of us.

"Hey, guys. This is my son Michael and his friend Brian. Boys this is Lindsay, Emmett, Alex, and Justin. And, this little angel is his daughter, Becca."

"Oh my God, it's JT." I roll my eyes, waiting for another nerd rant from Mikey. He is such a fanboy.

He starts in on Justin while I stand to the side. Justin's actually nice enough to make conversation with him. They're talking about comic books and gay superheroes. Mikey's always wanted to start his own comic book, but he can't draw for shit. As Justin's talking with Mikey, he's softly tickling his daughter. That guy, Alan or whatever, still has his arm around Justin. Mikey eventually ends the conversation when Deb brings our food over to the booth and we're forced to sit down and eat. As we're eating, I strain to hear the conversation at the other booth.

"We'd better go J. You know some of us have real jobs. Our lunch break is officially over." It sounds like Alan or Adam or whateverthefuck his name was.

"Fuck you. Are we going to Babylon tonight?"

"Of course, what would a night be without Babylon?"

We finish our food and get out of the booth. As Mikey goes to the counter to say goodbye to his mother, I try to inconspicuously watch the other booth. Emmett slides out of the booth and leaves the diner. Aaron or was it Abe? Well, whoeverthefuck pecks Justin's lips and slides out of the booth.

"Hey Linds, why don't you just go to the gallery? I'll watch Becca and drop her off before Babylon."

"Sure." She gets up and leaves too.

It's just Justin and Becca. He starts to play a game of peek-a-boo with her. Just before it becomes obvious that I'm staring, Mikey comes up and starts talking with Justin again. Apparently he's giving Justin his email address so they can finish their conversation about comics, I guess. While Mikey talks with Justin, I go up to Deb.

"Uh, hey Deb. What's Babylon?"

"Babylon? Why do you want to know?"

"Uh, no reason. I just heard some people talking about it."

"It's a dance club here on Liberty."

"Thanks, Deb." Automatically she looks suspicious. She's not used to me thanking her for anything.

"Brian Kinney, what are you up--"

Just before she can finish her question, Mikey comes over and tells me we'll miss the bus if we don't leave now.

XXXXXXXXXX

I have last period with Ben. It's an English class and today is a peer review day. So basically we just talk the whole period and pretend we're talking about our papers whenever the teacher walks by.

"Uh, hey, Ben, have you been to Babylon before?" Ben's older brother is gay too and they used to go to a lot of clubs together, before he started spending all of his free time with Mikey.

"Of course."

"Oh, do you need I.D. to get in?"

"Yeah, you need a membership card."

"You have one?"

"I've been haven't I?"

"Do you think I could borrow it tonight?"

"Why do you want it?"

"I just want to check it out." He maintains eye contact for awhile as if he's trying decide if I'm telling the truth. After a few moments it seems he's made up his mind.

"You really shouldn't go alone." I've already figured that out.

"I'm sure you're brother's going tonight. I can go with him."

"Um, yeah, sure." He digs in his pocket for his wallet and takes out his membership card for me.

"Michael and I are going to be out all night. We're going to see a double feature." Probably to make out in the back row, I think to myself. "But, if you come over around ten, Tom will be getting ready to leave."

"Thanks Ben."

XXXXXXXXXX

The bell rings and we wait outside the classroom for Mikey. He comes up to us and gives Ben a kiss. They're both out, but it doesn't cause any problems at school, Ben can be pretty intimidating, and both of their parents know about them. I wish I had that kind of freedom. I don't need any kind of rumors getting back to my parents. My home life is difficult enough.

As we're walking out of the school, Mikey brings up our previous plans with Ben for later this evening. I was supposed to go to the movies with the couple.

"Uh Mikey, I don't think I'm going to join you tonight."

"Oh, why?" He doesn't sound too disappointed. He's probably excited to have some alone time with Ben.

"Let's just say something came up."

As soon as I make it home, I race upstairs to my bedroom and slam the door closed, ignoring my mother's slightly slurred "Brian!" After taking a shower, I inspect my wardrobe and quickly come to the realization that I have nothing I to wear to Babylon. I throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and reach for my wallet.

I figure there's only an hour or so before most stores close; and the only place I know of that sells clothing worthy of clubbing and is close enough to get to by bus within an hour is that fucking store on Liberty. I can't believe I'm even considering stepping foot in Torso.

XXXXXXXXXX

I walk into the store and automatically my eyes are drawn to the hideous pink and tangerine display in the center of the store. Fuck this. Before I'm able to make my escape, the guy from the diner, Emmett, is in front of me.

"If it isn't the blushing brunet from the diner." I'm immediately reminded of Justin's words in the diner and come back with the same reply.

"Fuck you." My response doesn't appear to deter him in the least.

"What can I do for you, sweetie?" He asks with a wide grin. I consider just turning around and leaving, but I remind myself it's either this or miss out on Babylon tonight.

"Um, I'm going to Babylon tonight and I was just looking for something to wear," I explain but I can't help adding, my eyes still focused on the atrocious display, "it doesn't look like you have anything for me here."

"Of course we do." Before I can respond he's running around the store, pulling items off racks. Within minutes he has an armful of clothes and he's shoving me into a changing room.

I look through the clothes he picked out. And, I have to admit, they're not all terrible. I pull on a pair of dark jeans and a blood red sleeveless shirt, they're both a little tighter than what I'm used to wearing, but they look nice. I walk out of the changing room for a second opinion.

"That's perfect." He pauses for a moment. "You know, it's none of my business, but aren't you a bit young for Babylon?"

"You're right; it's none of your business." I walk back into the dressing room to change back into my clothes.

"You wouldn't be trying to earn a certain blonde's attention, would you?" he asks through the door and I guess he takes my silence as an answer. "I thought so." I walk out of the changing room and head to the register to pay for my clothes. I look back at Emmett and the look on his face makes it clear that he has something to say, but he's unsure if he should say it.

"Just spit it out, Emmett."

"Well..." I wait a few seconds for him to finish his statement and look pointedly at my watch, "just be careful tonight." I'm sure that isn't exactly what he was going to say, but I'm surprised by his concern nonetheless.

"There's nothing to worry about, Em. I'm going with a friend of mine; everything should be cool."

"A boyfriend, perhaps?"

"Uh, no, just my friend's older brother," I answer distractedly as I glance at my watch. I told Cynthia I would hangout with her for awhile before I go to Babylon. Her parents are out of town. Fuck, they're always out of town. If only I were so lucky. "Emmett, I've got to go. I'll see you at Babylon tonight, right?"

"Sure, sweetie."

XXXXXXXXXX

"You're really going?" she asks skeptically. I nod my head in response. "So, you're going to this place on the off chance that Justin will be there and he'll be like 'hey Brian, you're hott, wanna fuck?' At this point, she begins laughing, "that is so unrealistic Brian." I swear she's such a bitch sometimes.

"Fuck you. You're my friend; you're supposed to be supportive of my every decision, no matter how unrealistic, bitch." She rolls her eyes and returns to discussing the rest of my evening.

"So what's your plan?"

"Plan?"

"Well what are you going to do? Are you just going to go up to him and say 'hi, I'm Brian and I want to have sex' because that won't work." She says the "hi, I'm Brian" part several octaves higher than her normal voice and I'm sure that's an insult but I decide to ignore it for now.

"I don't need a fucking plan, Cyn."

"You want to get laid, don't you?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"I'm just saying," she pauses to pat my knee in mock concern, "you don't want to die a virgin."

"Bitch." She rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don't know."

XXXXXXXXXX

I left my backpack and a change of clothes at Cyn's. If all goes well, she'll bring it to school for me tomorrow. And, if things don't go so well, I'll see her later tonight.

When I arrive at Ben's house I knock on the door only to hear a shouted "Come in. It's open!" I walk in to find Tom running his fingers through his hair, in front of the hallway mirror, in an attempt to get it to lie perfectly. After a few moments he turns toward me.

"So, baby brother told me I'm supposed to be your escort for the evening." He slides next to me and wraps his arm around my waist. I roll my eyes and shove him off.

"Let's just go, Fabio."

XXXXXXXXXX

We make it to Babylon and the line is wrapped around the building. I start heading for the end of it, when Tom grabs my arm and pulls me toward the door.

"I don't think so kid."

I'm assuming Tom knows the bouncer because when we get to the door, he barely glances at our membership cards before waving us in. We walk in and...oh my god, I've reached the promise land. The place is huge, and it's packed with men...half-naked men...sweaty half-naked men. And for a moment I'm overwhelmed. I mean, I've been all over Liberty Ave at all times of day and night. But, this is really something else. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I feel Tom's hand on my elbow, guiding me towards the bar. He orders a couple of beers and hands me one.

"Only take drinks I give you. Don't set your drink down. No drugs. Don't leave with anyone." After giving me the obligatory warnings, he starts getting antsy. He's looking around and I can tell he wants to either dance or find someone to fuck. I start feeling kind of bad for just tagging along. I don't even know what I was expecting from tonight. I'm about to tell Tom that I'm taking a taxi home, when I hear Emmett.

"Baby!" He comes over and gives me a hug.

"It's Brian." I say, pushing him off. I fucking hate pet names.

"I know, sweetie!" I peer around Emmett and am disappointed to only see the brunet from the diner.

"He's not here yet."

"Who?" I ask, feigning ignorance.

"You know who."

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" I totally forgot about Tom. I turn around to introduce him to Emmett.

"Tony this is Emmett. Emmett this is Tom, my friend's older brother." I catch Emmett giving him an interested once-over before pulling him toward the dance floor with a simple, "Dance with me." As they're walking away, the brunet approaches me.

"I'm Alex, we met at the diner this afternoon." He reaches out his hand for me to shake. I stare at it and consider ignoring the guy, but decide that it won't hurt to shake his hand. "So you're interested in Justin?" He asks with a smile. I immediately regret giving him the benefit of doubt.

"No, I'm not interested in him or anyone else for that matter."

"Of course you are" he pauses and his face takes on an expression of concern, "I should warn you Brian; you seem like a nice kid. And, Justin's a great guy; he's my best friend but..." Before he's able to finish the sentence, Justin is standing next to him with an arm draped around his shoulders, looking at me.

"Aren't you a bit young to be here?"

"I just thought I'd check it out," and I automatically berate myself for saying something so lame, but I guess it wasn't too bad because he smiles and nods. He extracts himself from Alex and reaches for my hand. I'm so focused on him touching me that it takes a moment for me to realize he's dragging me to the dance floor. As soon as I understand what's going on I begin to protest. He turns around to face me, silently asking what's wrong. Fuck, this is so embarrassing.

"Um...I can't dance."

"You made the decision to come to a dance club, and you can't dance?" He asks with a half-smile and I know he's joking.

"Fuck off, there's more to do than dance."

"Well, drinking and fucking. Both of which, you're too young for."

"Actually," I say stepping a little closer to him, "the age of consent in Pennsylvania is seventeen."

"Is it really?" He exclaims in mock surprise, earning an eye roll from me. "Well, Brian, since you're at a dance club, you might as well dance." He continues pulling me toward the dance floor and I just now realize that my hand was still in his during our exchange.

When we make it to the center of the dance floor, Justin moves his hands to my hips, and for a moment I don't know what to do with my hands. But I eventually decide to rest my arms on his shoulders. We kind of sway to the beat, him guiding my hips with his hands.

I can't believe I'm here, dancing with the guy that I dreamt about all last night. Fuck, I can't believe it's only been one night. I feel like I've been dreaming about him forever. I'm yanked out of my thoughts when he pulls our hips closer together and reaches up the slightest bit to whisper in my ear.

"Since you are legal and all, you wanna come back to my place?" His groin now grinding against mine keeps me from understanding his question right away. But, once I do, I don't hesitate to stutter a "su…sure." We stop moving and he leads me toward the bar so he can say goodbye to Alex. I keep back, giving them a little space, and as I'm waiting a guy with dark hair approaches me. He's obviously a little drunk.

"You wanna suck me off?" Yeah fucking right.

"Fuck off."

"Yeah, I saw you with Justin. You better watch out, kid. He fucks a different guy every night. No repeats. He'll fuck you tonight and kick you out tomorrow. He's a fucking asshole." That's really not what I want to hear right now. And, for a second I try to convince myself that the guy is mistaken. But, I think back to earlier today and realize this must be what Emmett wanted to warn me about and Alex tried to warn me about. I guess it's not terribly surprising. I mean, I know about tricking. I'm not completely ignorant. And, I assumed Justin tricked; he's too good-looking not to. But, the whole no repeats and he's an asshole thing is kind of bothering me.

Before I know it, Justin's at my side and we're walking out of Babylon to his car. He unlocks and opens the passenger side door and I slide into the soft leather seats. When he gets in, he reaches over me, putting his lips centimeters from mine. I'm seconds away from just begging him to kiss me when he leans in and presses his lips to mine sliding his tongue into my mouth. This is my first real kiss. We're kissing for a few minutes, when he pulls away and I hear a click. I look down to find that he's buckled my seatbelt for me. And for some reason, it makes me smile. I just can't reconcile this Justin with the one everyone's warning me about. But it must be true, even his best friends tried to caution me.

We drive to his place in relative silence, techno music softly playing on the radio. For what seems like the hundredth time tonight, I reconsider my motives, why I'm doing this. I like Justin. Besides being beautiful, he's talented and intelligent. I want to lose my virginity and he's the obvious choice. I mean, I've never really been attracted to someone before. Sure, some guys are hot but they're all either too stupid, or pathetic, or boring, or...well, the list just goes on. I want Justin and if it's only for one night, which I can admit I don't want it to be, than I'll just make the most of it.

My door opens and I nearly jump out of my seat. Justin smiles at me. We must have gotten here while I was lost in my thoughts.

"Are you coming?" I nod.

"Yeah." I unbuckle my seatbelt and he takes my hand, pulling me out of the car. We walk into his building and ride what appears to be a freight elevator to the top floor. He opens the apartment door and walks in. I'm right behind him, but I pause in the doorway, deciding if I should continue. This is the point of no return. I step forward and close the door behind me. His apartment is actually a loft. The kitchen, dining area, and living area are in the main room. To the left are a couple of doors which, I assume, lead to other rooms. The furniture is very modern but looks comfortable. It's a huge place but surprisingly it still feels warm and inviting. Justin takes off his watch and removes his wallet from his back pocket, setting them both on the kitchen counter before tuning around to face me.

"Come here." I take a few steps and stop a couple of feet in front of him. He looks disapprovingly at the space between us, shaking his head. "No, com'ere." His hand reaches for the material covering my chest and he softly tugs on the shirt, effectively pulling me against him. His hand slides down my torso until it settles on my hip, joining his other hand.

With both hands on my hips, he leans in to kiss me and I'm eager to respond. It's sensual and deep and all-consuming. Nothing else exists…until I feel his cool fingertips sliding against my warm skin. His hands have found their way under my shirt and they slowly travel upward until I'm forced to raise my arms so he can pull it off. As soon as it's over my head and on the floor, I resume where we left off. When I pull away to catch my breath, his lips kiss across my jaw line and down my neck, pausing at a spot right above my collarbone to suck and kiss and lick.

After a few moments, I hear him mumble unintelligibly against my skin before he takes my hand and pulls me through a door into his bedroom. Justin stops to undress and I am transfixed. It's kind of like Christmas. Slowly pieces of pale skin are unveiled until he's standing there completely naked. He bends down to take off my shoes, which I had completely forgotten about. When he stands up he gently pushes my shoulders toward the bed until I'm flat on my back. His hands move to unfasten my jeans and he slides them off. He straddles my thighs and when I look up, I'm facing a god. He's surrounded by a soft white glow, giving him an otherworldly appearance. I blink a few times before I realize it's from the moon illuminating the room through an entirely glass ceiling. All thoughts leave my mind when he kisses me and softly strokes my cock. I've had hand jobs, well one hand job before. But, it didn't feel nearly this good. Within seconds I'm cumming in his hand.

As I catch my breath, I feel Justin run a wet finger across my lips and follow it with a kiss, and I begin getting hard again with the taste of my own cum on our lips. He places kisses down my body, his fingers occasionally rolling my nipples and eliciting gasps, until he reaches my cock.

He swirls his tongue around the head and in one swift motion swallows me whole, causing me to make a sound that suspiciously resembles a whimper. My fingers automatically tangle in his hair, pulling him closer to me. Minutes later, he pulls off and I can't help but moan in protest. He lifts my hips for better access and moves lower until his lips are on my asshole. Fuck, I can't believe he's giving me a rim job. He teases me for a few moments, licking and kissing around it, before pushing his tongue inside me.

He fucks me with his tongue and I can't resist thrusting my hips toward him in an attempt to get more. I hear the click of a container opening and I unintentionally tense.

"Relax," he whispers and rubs my hip soothingly. "You haven't done this before." And, he says is more as a statement than a question but I answer anyway.

"No." He moves up to kiss me and for a moment I'm distracted from thoughts of what's about to happen.

"Relax." He whispers against my lips and I feel slippery fingers circle my hole. He slips a digit in, moving it in and out slowly. After a few moments he adds another finger. And, it feels good, really good. I begin pushing down against his fingers and he adds another. I'm practically riding his fingers when he pulls his hand away.

"Fuck, don't stop." I pant.

"Not stopping, just moving things along." He moves up to kneel between my spread legs and for the first time I notice how hard he is. He pulls a condom from the bowl on the nightstand next to the bed and rips it open with his teeth before handing me the disc.

"Put it on me." I slide it onto his dick and he lifts my legs to place on his shoulders. He lines up his cock with my entrance and pushes in.

Fuck, it hurts.

"It'll get better." Slowly I relax and the pain dissipates a bit. I push back towards him to let him know I'm ready. He goes slowly at first, but as I get more comfortable his thrusts become faster and harder. When we cum, he buries his face in my neck and I hear him mumble against my skin.

XXXXXXXXXX

I wake up and for a moment I'm disoriented, until I remember what transpired last night. My head is resting on Justin's chest, my arm thrown over his waist, and my leg draped over his. I must have gravitated towards him during the night. I try to extract myself from his body without waking him, but I'm unsuccessful and his eyes open to focus on mine. I can feel my face redden from the embarrassment of being nearly on top of him.

"Good morning." He looks a little confused before he finally responds.

"G'morning. Do you need a ride home or something?" I'm kind of disappointed that he's already trying to get rid of me, but I look over his shoulder at the alarm clock.

"Actually, you could...uh...drop me off at school."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Okay...um, could I take a shower first?"

"Yeah, go ahead." I climb out of bed and walk very slowly to the bathroom. When I enter the shower, I adjust the water temperature to nearly scalding. The hot water feels so good on my sore muscles. And as I wash myself, I think back to last night. It was so perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better first time, or a better lover. I know this was a one time thing, but Justin is so fucking amazing. But, I can't let myself get attached. It's not like Justin would even want someone like me. And, like the guy said, he doesn't fuck anyone twice. So, this is it.

When I walk out of the bathroom the bedroom is empty but my clothes from last night are lying on the bed. I get dressed and step out to the main room to see Justin sitting at the kitchen counter, sipping what looks to be coffee.

"You want some?" he asks nodding towards the pot.

"No, I'm good. I should actually get going. I don't want to be late."

"Oh sure. Do you need to pick up your books or change or anything?"

"No, it's alright. My friend has my stuff at school for me."

We drive to my school in relative silence.

"Um, I'll see you around Brian."

"Yeah, sure." I step out and Justin pulls away. When I look up, I see Ben running towards me frantically.

As soon as he steps in front of me, I'm engulfed in a hug.

"What the fuck, Ben?" I push him off.

"We were so worried, where were you? Where did you go?" It takes me a second to realize what he's talking about.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Ben. I left with a friend." I'm hoping he'll just drop it because I really don't want to discuss it.

"Who?" Yeah, I didn't think I'd be that lucky.

"Someone I met around Liberty. I'd rather not talk about it."

"Okay, whatever. I'm just glad you're okay. Here's your backpack. Cynthia gave it to me." He hands it to me and we walk into the school just as the bell rings, signifying we only have five minutes to get to first period.

First period goes okay, although that probably has something to do with none of my friends being in it. I'm almost dreading second period with Cynthia. It's a study hall too, so all we're going to end up doing is talk.

XXXXXXXXXX

We have a large study hall so it's held in the commons. As soon as I walk in, Cynthia pounces.

"So how did it go? Are you still a virgin? Was it good?" She's practically jumping up and down.

"Calm the fuck down." I walk past her to sit down at a table and she follows, sitting down across from me.

"So, tell me all the details." I roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders.

"There wasn't much to it really. I went, hung out with a few friends, went home with Justin, we had sex, and he dropped me off here."

"That's not it and you know it! I want details! Who exactly are these friends you speak of? How was the sex? When are you going to see him again?"

I feel my face drop, but I pull myself together and answer her questions with a slightly bored expression. "Well, Tom and I went to Babylon where I met up with Emmett and Alex, two guys I met at the diner yesterday. They're Justin's friends. Justin showed up. We danced a little and he took me back to his place." I take a bite of my sandwich and chew slowly.

"Fuck you, Brian, just tell me."

"Shut up, I'm trying to make this suspenseful." I give her a mock glare and continue. "Well, we went back to his place and I was so fucking nervous. We made out for awhile. He took me to his bedroom and started with a hand job, and then a blow job," I know I'm blushing as I recall the next part, "and he um...gave me a rim job," I look to her and she nods in understanding, which I'll have to ask her about some other time. "His bedroom had a glass ceiling. I could see the stars. And when he came, he told me he loved me. Fuck, Cyn, it was so amazing. I can still feel him inside of me."

"Wow, that sounds so romantic. When are you seeing him again?"

And I come crashing back to reality.

"Um...I don't know. I'll probably see him around though. Apparently he goes to the diner a lot and knows Debbie, so I'll probably run into him sometime."

"Wait. What? You guys didn't talk about when you'd see each other again?"

"Um...no. Justin's really not into the whole relationship thing. I was talking to this guy at Babylon and I found out that Justin doesn't date. He fucks a different guy every night and tosses them out in the morning."

"Brian! That doesn't mean anything--" I'm quick to interrupt her.

"Yeah, well, he was pretty eager to get rid of me this morning."

"Well, so what Brian? You said you really like him, go after him."

"No one's worth chasing after, Cyn. I'm not doing that."

"But..."

"No buts. It's not like I really want to be with someone anyway." The way she rolled her eyes told me she didn't believe my shit.

"Everyone wants someone."

"Well, not me."

XXXXXXXXXX

I go alone to the diner for lunch because Mikey decided to wait around for Ben, and I try to tell myself it's not because I want to see a certain blond. I see Deb taking an order at a table. Justin, Emmett, and Alex are at a booth but they all stand up as if they're leaving. Justin sees me and smiles.

"Hey."

"Hey." I turn around to take a seat at the counter and hear the diner door open and close, signaling Justin's departure. I put my head down on the table and mentally berate myself for sounding so stupid just a second ago.

"Hey kiddo." I look up to see Deb standing behind the counter.

"Hey Deb."

"You've got it bad, huh?" I immediately freeze at the implication of those words.

There is no fucking way that she knows.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Deb."

"Don't bullshit me, kid. I know you have a little crush on Justin. I just want to tell you to be careful, Justin's…"

"Frankly, Deb, I've heard it all. No need to worry about my little feelings."

"Shut up, you little asshole. I was talking. Now what was I saying?"

"Something about me being careful."

"Oh yeah, I was just saying that you're still young. You've got a lot of time to figure everything out, don't rush things."

"Great. Now can I get some food?" That earns me a smack to the head.

XXXXXXXXXX

I'm actually looking forward to last period. There's a guest speaker coming to the school. He works at some up and coming ad agency in Pittsburgh . I got permission from my advisor to miss my last class and see him talk since I'm pretty sure I want to go into advertising.

I sit in the second row from the front. I'm hoping this will be somewhat interesting. One of the advisors gives some kind of introduction and I look up, waiting for the speaker to walk on stage.

And imagine my surprise when Alex, Justin's Alex, walks to the podium.

Alex's presentation isn't half bad. I actually enjoy it. He speaks about starting his own agency right of college with the backing of a silent partner and how he used his time in college to learn about the field, in addition to making some important contacts that would allow his business to be successful. So far his agency has won several ADDYs from the local Advertising Federation, and they've been nominated for a Clio award. They've had a lot of success in the past couple of years and right now they're expanding. He attributes his success to being young, and therefore, more willing to take more risks than most other advertisers in the field.

He talks right up until the end of the class period and almost everyone leaves, but he stays to answer a few questions and talk with the people that stayed behind which includes myself and two girls that are falling over themselves trying to impress him. If only they knew...

Alex is off of the stage and leaning against the front row of seats while the girls stand in front of him. I really don't have all day to hang around here so I walk up to them.

"Hey, he doesn't swing that way, so you can run along now." I can see Alex roll his eyes. The girls look from me to him and back again before turning an interesting shade of red and scampering out of the auditorium.

"That wasn't very nice, Brian."

"Neither is leading them on. And it's not like they had anything to say that was worth listening to."

"I guess you have a point there. So what can I do for you?"

"Well, I've been interested in business, particularly advertising, for awhile now. I've taken all the business classes this school has to offer, but the school has a co-op program where you can work in the field of your choosing in exchange for school credit. I was wondering if your agency accepted interns."

"Well, I don't see why not. We don't have an internship program in place, but we have been discussing it for awhile. We were planning on reserving it for college students though."

"With the classes I've taken and the research I've done outside of school, I'm just as qualified as any college freshman or sophomore. And you won't find anyone that's more willing to learn about the field."

"Why don't you come by the office Thursday after school. I can show you around and we can talk about what will be expected of you and all that boring introductory shit. I better get going, I have a meeting in half an hour."

"Alright, I'll see you Thursday." He's already heading out of the door. I go over to my seat to get all of my stuff together. As I'm walking to my locker I can't help but shake my head at my own stupidity. I just signed myself up to work for Justin's best friend. There will be no escaping him now, not that I really want to.

"Brian, Brian!" Mikey's running toward me with Ben doing a leisurely stroll behind him. "Where have you been?"

"I was at a presentation and I stayed after to talk with the speaker. I think I just landed myself a job." The confusion on Mikey's face is almost cute.

"What? You already have a job."

"I mean a real job. I'll be working at an ad agency." He still seems a little confused but congratulates me, nonetheless.

"That's great, Brian! You wouldn't believe what happened today."

"What happened today?"

"Well, I emailed JT last night about the comic book ideas we were talking about yesterday and he actually emailed me back today. He said he liked some of my ideas and he wanted to talk to me some more about them. We're having dinner at the diner today."

Okay, there is no reason for me to be jealous of my friend. They're just meeting to talk about geek shit. Mikey has a boyfriend. And, no offense to my friend, but there's no way Justin could be interested in Mikey. But dinner. That almost, kind of sounds like a date. I know its not. It's more of a meeting than a--

"Brian! Did you hear me?"

"Oh yeah, that's great Mikey. I'm happy for you."

We begin walking out of the school. Mikey continues to babble about whatever comic book thing he's doing while Ben and I pretend to listen. When we get outside, Ben and Mikey head off to Deb's and I go to the library. I figure I can do a little research before meeting up with Alex in two days, and it has the added benefit of keeping me from home for a few more hours.

XXXXXXXXXX

It's Thursday, and if I have to hear Mikey go off on his "JT is the greatest person ever" tangent again, I think I'll kill someone. Every time I see him, all I hear is "oh, me and JT had dinner again, we stayed up all night talking about our project, he's so nice and creative, he says he likes hearing my ideas." It just goes on and on. From the sound of him, you'd think JT is his new best friend. They've had dinner the past two days and they're having dinner again tonight. They've been having some "intense IM sessions." And last night, Mikey went back to Justin's place to work on "the project." Mikey didn't get home until 10pm. Apparently Justin is going to help Mikey bring his comic book idea to life. Whatever. It's not like I care or anything. I'm definitely not jealous. He can spend all the time he wants with JT. I don't care, I don't.

I see him walking toward me and I run away, catching up with Cyn, which isn't a huge improvement, but it's something.

"You should just call him, Bri." Yeah, definitely not an improvement.

"I already told you, I'm not chasing after him like some love-sick faggot."

"You are a love-sick faggot."

"I am not. We fucked. That was it, nothing more."

"You didn't fuck! You made love." I'm gagging. She's such a girl.

"I swear to god, if you ever tell me I made love again, I'll be forced to hurt you. There are so many alternatives to that euphemism. I know your pretty blond head can think of a few."

"Fine," now she's huffy, "you had a passionate sexual encounter that involved some kind of emotional connection. Better?"

"Much. However, what our sexual encounter involved is irrelevant. Neither of us wants to pursue a relationship. Justin doesn't do relationships and neither do I. I'm too young to be tied down. I should be off fucking and sucking a different person every night."

"Then why aren't you?" Good question.

"I simply don't have the time. I have to spend time doing school work and listening to my friends bitch and moan," I look pointedly at her, "and now I have this new internship." She rolls her eyes in response to the bullshit I'm spewing and she's about to say something but I cut her off. "My bus is coming in the next 5 minutes. I've gotta go, Cyn. As always, it's been a pleasure speaking with you. We'll have to do it again sometime."

I run down the school steps and around the corner to the bus stop, just in time to catch the bus.

XXXXXXXXXX

The offices are really nice. They're in what looks to be an old warehouse. The interior is done in modern design, with a few advertisements on the walls as artwork. It isn't large, there are probably 20 to 30 employees. Alex gives me a brief tour of the building before we go back to his office to talk about duties and responsibilities and all that "boring shit," as he likes to put it.

I'll be working roughly twenty hours a week and I'll be making a bit more than I make at the grocery store I also work at. Since the office officially closes at 5pm, to get in enough hours, Alex wants me to give up my lunches, which I really don't have a problem with. The building is close to the diner so it won't take me long to get to there from school, and he says that most likely the time will be used for a "working lunch" or meetings with clients. When I come in after school, I'll most likely be doing more of the basic office duties, paperwork, setting up rooms for meetings, that kind of thing.

After we finish filling in all the paper work for school and the agency payroll, Alex invites me for an early dinner at the diner. I haven't had lunch at the diner in the past couple of days in an attempt to avoid Justin. I just didn't want to go through the whole awkward encounter again, but I don't think he'll be there around this time. I know he and Mikey aren't having dinner at the diner again. Apparently Justin loves to cook so they're having dinner at his place. It's not a date or anything. It's not. It's just a--

"Brian! Dinner, diner?"

"Yeah, sure. That's fine."

XXXXXXXXXXX

We sit down and our orders are taken. Debbie isn't working tonight, in fact, I don't see anyone that I know, which is kind of a relief. I'll be able to make it through the night without hearing about Justin.

"So, Justin told me that you two spent the night together." I guess I was mistaken. I lift an eyebrow. "He said that you seemed interested--"

"Look, Justin is an attractive guy. I was interested. We had sex and that's it. I'm not looking for a relationship. You can tell him he doesn't have to worry about me following him around."

"So it was just sex."

"Alex, I'm only 17. That's all it could be." He sucks his lower lip into his mouth and nods as if he's thinking of something to say. "Actually, I'd prefer if we didn't discuss this any further." He nods slowly.

"Okay, consider the subject dropped."

"Um...no. Justin's really not into the whole relationship thing. I was talking to this g

I like working for Alex. It's fun and, dare I say, educational. From what I've heard, most internships turn into gofer jobs, but this one hasn't. Alex actually listens to what I have to say. I've had creative input into one ad and I've even sat in on few business lunches which gave me a chance to interact with the clients. There really hasn't been a downside to it yet. I haven't had as much time to spend with Cyn and Mikey, which I'm considering a plus at the moment, and I usually don't get home until late, another plus because I usually take the time after the internship to study for school. But my dad has been getting on my case because of that. Well, that and my new business attire. Apparently I think I'm better than him because I wear a suit. Yeah, that's the only reason I'm better than him.

I walk into the diner and head straight toward the back with my backpack. The library closes at seven, and I have a big exam tomorrow. The diner is the only place I know of that's open until late and where no one will bother me. Luckily, Deb doesn't work night shifts. I order a plate of fries from the waitress and pull out my Advanced Chemistry, and soon I'm engrossed in single and double bonds.

I'm about to flip the page when I hear a voice, a voice way closer than I want it to be. I take a steadying breath before look up with a raised eyebrow, silently asking what the fuck he's doing here.

"Hey." His smile is wide and bright and...

"Hi, Justin." And I swear that didn't come out like some lovesick high school girl.

"You look exhausted. What're you studying?" I do not look exhausted.

"Advanced Chemistry." He steals a cold fry from my plate. He pops it in his mouth and finishes chewing, with raised eyebrows.

"Wow, he's smart too."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, for someone so pretty---"

I have to stop him there.

"I am not pretty. Devastatingly handsome? Maybe. Pretty? No."

"Fine, for someone so devastatingly handsome..." He says it slowly and trails off, and I know I'm blushing. I swear I'm going to get this blushing thing under control by the time I turn 18. New mission in life. When I look up to see the wide grin on his face I know he was just fucking with me. "You know, you're very attractive when you get flushed like that, Brian." What is he playing at?

"Is that so?"

"Yes." He pauses, letting his response hang in the air before continuing. "So, I hear you're working for Alex now."

"Yeah."

"I'm guessing you came here straight from the office?"

I'm still wearing my button down and tie, although a few buttons are unbuttoned and the tie is hanging loose around my neck. My jacket is thrown over the top of the booth.

"Yeah." I guess I'm going the monosyllabic route tonight.

"You're not much of a conversationalist are you, Brian?" He almost looks nervous. Justin is nervous speaking with me. I'm making him nervous. Unbelievable. I slide my book to the side and lean a little closer, putting my arms on the table.

"I am when I want to be."

"And you don't want to be right now, with me?"

"Well Justin, conversations about Alex and work aren't exactly topics I find particularly stimulating."

"Is that right? Well," he reaches for my textbook, opens to a random page, and pulls out pen from nowhere and begins writing down a number, "here's my phone number. Give me a call and I'm sure we can come up with something we both find particularly stimulating." And with that, he closes the book on his number. Jerk.

He gets up from the booth and walks out the diner door without another word. Needless to say, I spent the next fifteen minutes trying to find the page he wrote his number on.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Oh my god, Brian! He so wants you."

"Yeah, I know." We're sitting on Cyn's bed. Her parents are out of town for the umpteenth time this year.

"You are going to call him, right?"

"Well..." I kind of trail off.

"Brian, you're killing me here."

"Well I know he wants me, but the question is do I want him?" She sits up and looks at me blankly.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Of course you want him. You had the most amazing sex of your life, the only sex of your life, with him. And you've been moping around ever since because you haven't talked to him. The only time I've seen you even remotely happy over the past few weeks is now, the day after you had a conversation with him. If a few words can make you this happy, I don't want see what his dick up your ass will do for you." She has such a potty mouth.

"Let me explain myself. Okay, so Justin wants me. But what does he want me for? Does he just want to have sex again? Maybe I was such a good lay that he just wants me in his bed again. Or---" She rolls her eyes at that and interrupts.

"Believe me, you weren't that great of a lay, Brian. You were a virgin. There's no way you were that good in bed."

I do what I always do when someone says something I don't want to hear. I roll my eyes, scoff, and tell her to, "fuck off." I need to get one of those friends that doesn't talk. Seriously, one that just sits there and listens and nods in agreement.

"I'm seriously thinking of trading you in, Cyn. The issue still remains...does he want me just for sex or does he want a relationship? Either way, I should probably be worried. I don't think I want to have sex without some kind of involvement, at least not with him. And as far as relationship goes, I'm only 17 which is way too young to have a relationship, especially with--"

"Brian, shut up. You're being stupid. The night you went home with him, these same kind of thoughts were running through your head, right? And you still went home with him. Why?"

"Because I wanted him."

"Right, and you still want him. So call him."

I pick up my cell phone and scroll through the list of names until I find Justin. I press "enter" and wait until someone picks up.

"Hey, Justin?"

"Yeah?"

"It's Brian."

I wake up slowly. My long body is stretched out on a bed too big to be my own. My face is pressed into a pillow that smells like expensive cologne, definitely not my own. I open my eyes, blinking to adjust to the light pouring down on me from the skylight.

"You're awake. About time." I lift my head and look to the foot of the bed. Justin's there in jeans and a t-shirt. "I made lunch if you want some."

"Um...sure. I'm just gonna go take a shower first." If I didn't know any better, I would swear Justin's smile falters for a second. But I still haven't woken completely, and my eyes are still bleary so I'm probably just mistaken.

"You know where everything is." Justin turns his back and walks out into the kitchen. I pull myself out of the way too comfortable bed and stumble into the bathroom, turning the shower jets to as hot as they can go, the only sure fire way to wake me up.

Last night had been...stimulating, to say the least. After minutes of prodding, Cynthia finally got me to call Justin. He invited me over and within seconds of stepping inside, we were in the bedroom. I still don't know exactly how that happened. But, needless to say, I'm glad it did. For an old guy, Justin has stamina you wouldn't believe--

"Brian! Are you going to spend all day in there?"

"I'll be out in a sec!" I dry off and pull on my jeans from yesterday before heading to the kitchen. Justin was sitting at the island eating what looks to be soup and a sandwich.

"I made grilled cheese. There's more sandwich stuff in the fridge if you want something else."

"No, this is fine." Just as I'm biting into my second sandwich, Justin opens his mouth and utters words that I was sure I'd never hear from him.

"Would you like to go out with me, Brian?" I just stare at him, swallowing slowly before responding.

"Go out with you?"

"Yeah, you know, a date."

"A date?" And I know I must have sound like idiot.

"Yeah. I know it'd kind of be going backwards, but I'd like to know more about you. And after last night, it's apparent that this just isn't the best place to get to know you, unless we're talking in the biblical sense. So, yeah, I just thought we could..."

He's rambling and I'm not really listening. Justin asked me out on a date, and I can't believe it. A date. Justin, who doesn't do dates or relationships, just asked me out on a date.

"Brian?" Right, he's waiting for an answer.

"Um...sure." Justin smiles in response.

"Good. For a second there, I thought you might just turn me down."

"Nah, wouldn't dream of it. I've never been on a date before. So...which ridiculously expensive restaurant are you going to take me to?" Justin leans back in his chair before responding.

"How about McDonald's?"

"I think I'm worth more than a BigMac."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Very."

"Well, I think I might need a little proof."

"What did you have in mind?" Justin stands up and turns his back to me, walking toward the bedroom. Just before he reaches the bedroom door he turns around to look at me once more.

"You're a smart boy. I'm sure you'll figure it out." I don't need him to spell it out for me. I stand up and follow him.

XXXXXXXXXX

I press the doorbell and wait for Cynthia to answer the door. As soon as she does, I hear Justin's car speed off behind me.

"Where the fuck have you been?" She stands back to let me into the house.

"Nowhere special." We walk up the stairs to her bedroom.

"You were with Justin, weren't you?"

"I did stop by his apartment...on Friday." She shuts the door to her bedroom and plops down on the futon.

"You were there all weekend?" I buff my nails on my shirt.

"Yeah, hard to believe, huh? He even asked me out on a date. I guess I really am that good."

"He asked you out on a date?" She sounds more excited than I was.

"That's what I said isn't it?"

"When is it? Where are you going? What're you going to--"

"Would you calm down?" She shoves my shoulder...hard. Girl doesn't know her own strength.

"Shut up. I know you had a fit when he asked you."

"A fit? I don't have fits." She just stares at me, and I think back to the conversation with Justin. "I'm willing to admit I was a little surprised when he asked me."

"A little surprised? You were floored."

"Whatever."

"So where are you guys going?"

"You know that place Alex always takes his clients to? Grand Concourse. It's in Station Square. It's supposed to be this great restaurant, but I never get a chance to enjoy the food because I'm always focused on the meeting. He's taking me there."

"That's one classy joint. So what're you wearing?"

"Well, I stopped by my house before I came here and picked up a few clothes. I thought I'd let you help me pick something out. I know how much you enjoy that sort of thing."

"Oh, how generous of you."

"I told Justin he could pick me up here, just so you know."

"Why couldn't he pick you up at your place?"

"Oh yeah, I can just imagine that conversation. 'Oh Dad. I gotta go. My date's waiting. That's him, the hot blond in the nice car.' That'd go over so well."

"Yeah, I guess you have a point there." We talk a little longer, catching up on all the gossip at school, before I start getting ready for my date. We end up going with black slacks and a dark gray fitted sweater. I look good. Always do.

"You have to let me meet him."

"I don't have to let you do anything."

"You will if you want to get out of this house." The doorbell rings, and Cynthia takes off running. I'm not able to catch up to her in time.

"Hi, you must be Justin." I get to the door just in time to see her giving Justin a long once over.

"I am, and you are?"

"Cynthia. I'm sure Brian talks about me all the time." She's so sure the world revolves around her.

"Actually, he's never mentioned you before."

"I have more important things to talk about than you, thank you very much."

"From what I've heard, you two don't do much talking." She gives a leer Justin's way, and I think this conversation is officially over.

"We're leaving now." I step out of the house and close the door, sure that Justin is following me.

XXXXXXXXXX

We end up sitting in a semi-private booth in the back of the restaurant, and we can't really be seen unless someone walks toward the restroom. Both of us talk about our jobs for a little bit, and Justin tells me about the comic book that he's working on with Mikey. He says it's a fun side project to do. Justin talks about his group of friends and his daughter. I can tell he was a good father. Nothing like my old man.

And you know that old saying, "speak of the devil, and he shall appear?" I guess it's true after all because as soon as I mention what a shitty father my own is, a shadow falls over our table. I look up, expecting to see our waiter, but I guess it wasn't my lucky night.

"Hey, Dad." I look him over. He's about as dressed up as he ever gets. He's wearing work boots, wrinkled pants, a stained white shirt and an ill-fitting jacket. I can smell the booze on his breath from my seat. He even looks unsteady on his feet. Someone would just have to look at Jack to know he's a complete drunk. I don't know why he bothers trying to be anything else.

Justin clears his throat, and I remember that he's still sitting across from me. "Dad, this is Justin. He's a friend of my boss." I put an emphasis on the last word, hoping that he'll take a hint and leave us the fuck alone. "Justin, this is my dad, Jack Kinney." Justin turns to my dad, and for a second it looks like he's about to give Jack a handshake, but he must change his mind.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Kinney." He actually smiles when he says it, and suddenly I can imagine Justin in high school and being the boy girls brought home to make a good impression.

Jack is just standing there like he's forgotten how to speak. "What're you doing here, Dad?" I know for a fact this restaurant is way out of his price range. He'd rather spend his money at a bar.

Jack shrugs his shoulders. "The Warden dragged me here. She's trying to impress her church friends." He glances to his right. A few tables down, I can see my mother sitting with a couple.

He looks back at us and turns toward me. "Why are you here, Sonnyboy?" He laughs before continuing. "On a fucking date?" He's still laughing as if he just told the best joke. Now, I have a choice here. I could go along with the joke or I could tell the truth.

I'll never be ashamed of who I am. If anyone has a problem with me…well, fuck them.

And that means my dad too.

"Yeah, I am."

His posture straightens, his eyes narrow, and finally he stops laughing. "You're a fucking fairy?" He stares at us for a second. I'm sure he's about to cause a scene, which could be entertaining, but my mother suddenly appears at his side.

She barely acknowledges me, giving a small nod in my direction. "It's time for us to leave, Jack. You have to pay the bill."

"Sit your ass back down at the table, Joanie. I'll be over in a second."

I can tell that her pride is wounded. She hates when he talks to her like that in public. But she does what he says and walks back to her table. Jack puts his hands on our table and leans on it heavily. He's close enough that the smell of Jim Beam is overwhelming. "You better not tell your mother about this." He stands up straight and just walks away.

I look at Justin and he puts words to what I'm thinking. "What the fuck?"

"Just another Kinney Family Moment." The whole scene wasn't as bad as I had imagined it would be. When you think about coming out, you come up with all these different scenarios. Most of the scenarios I came up with ended with a few bruises or getting kicked out of the house. I hadn't counted on Jack wanting to have another secret to keep from Joan more than actually caring about his son being a fag.

Justin reaches over the table and touches my hand. "You want to get out of here?"

I nod slowly. "Yeah, I think that'd be a good idea." Justin takes care of the bill and we walk out to his car. My mind is still racing with what happened tonight and what it means and how it changes things. And I can tell there's something on Justin's mind too. We're a few blocks away from the loft before he says anything.

"Your dad isn't…uhm…he doesn't—"

"My dad doesn't hit me, Justin." He nods and for a second I consider just leaving it at that, but I continue. "Jack's just a miserable old drunk with a bad temper and an even worse mouth. He never should have had kids. Hell, he probably shouldn't have gotten married." He pulls into the parking garage. "I turn eighteen in a couple months, and I've saved up some money…"

"Brian, you know if you ever needed—"

"Yeah, I know, Justin."

"Good." He opens his car door and we both get out. We take the elevator up to his apartment, and suddenly I'm very tired. I just want to stop thinking about…all of it. Justin unlocks the front door to his apartment. He sets his keys on a small table in the front room. As I walk toward the master bedroom, I can hear him drop his wallet and watch onto the table too.

When I get to Justin's bedroom, I toe off my shoes and climb onto his bed fully clothed. It's a comfy bed, better than the one at my house. Justin walks into the room just as I'm getting comfortable. I put an arm behind my head and watch him unbutton his shirt and take it off, leaving just his undershirt and very flattering jeans on. He climbs onto the bed and lies down next to me. We're both looking through the sky light at the clouds for a few seconds before I break the silence.

"I think I have a new rule."

Justin turns toward me. "Really? And what's that?"

I look down at him to see his reaction when I answer. "I don't do dates." I can't stop myself from smirking a little when I say it, and he gives the barest hint of a smile.

"We had fun for awhile there, didn't we?" His fingers fiddle with a button on my shirt.

I roll over onto my side, facing him, and rest a hand on his hip before answering. "Yeah, but I think we would have had more fun here."

He gives me one of those amazing smiles and pushes me onto my back. He rolls on top of me and straddles my hips. "You're probably right."

"So, we don't do dates?" Justin's kissing my neck and I can feel him smile against my skin.

He moves up to my ear and whispers lowly. "We don't do dates." I take him by surprise and roll him onto his back so I'm on top.

"Good."

I keep my eyes on the pool as Cynthia looks at me through her oversized Gucci sunglasses. Expensive tastes. “So, what’s going on with you two?”

I take a sip of my swiped beer as I decide how to answer that. Maybe I can just play dumb. “What?”

“Don’t be cute.” Yeah, didn’t think that’d work. “You and Justin. You guys have been doing whatever it is you’re doing for almost a month now.” I watch her think about it for a second. “What ''are'' you guys doing?”

I raise my sunglasses and lift an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I’d like to know too. I’ve been spending three to four nights a week at Justin’s apartment. We eat, fuck, talk a little. I usually spend the night and he drops me off at school. I don’t know what to call whatever it is we’re doing, but I’ve been enjoying it.

“Wipe the smirk off your face and just answer the question, Brian. Is Justin Taylor your boyfriend?”

I immediately frown at the idea. The term just makes me think of the dumb cheerleaders at school who get pissed off when their dumber jock boyfriends bang the rest of the cheerleading squad. “No, definitely not.”

“Okay…so if you’re not boyfriends, then what are you?”

“We’re just two guys that like fucking each other. No promises. No commitments.”

Cynthia nods. “Right. So, if you two are so casual, why haven’t you fucked that guy in our English class? I know you think he’s hot, and he’s been practically begging you for it.”

“I’ve been busy. School, work, internship, Justin. No time.”

“Is Justin making time to fuck other guys?”

I’m not going to think about Justin with someone else. “Don’t know. Don’t care.”

“Yeah you do.”

“No. I don’t. Justin is free to do whatever he likes. We’re not in a relationship. We just fuck.”

XXXXXXXXXX

I sit in the chair with Becca on my lap, trying to keep her occupied as I watch Justin and Lindsay talk. I gave up on me and Justin getting any time alone tonight about four hours ago. Everyone we know seems bent on making sure we don’t have a moment’s peace.

I had called Justin right after school. He told me he might be a little busy, but he wanted me to come over anyway and to use the spare key to let myself in. Justin had told me about the infamous spare key a week or so ago. He used to hide it on a window sill outside. When he told me about it, I must’ve looked at him like he was crazy. Justin is way too trusting. He has all of this valuable shit, and if he’s not careful one day he’s going to get robbed blind, which is what I’ve been telling him for the past week.

Last night as I was leaving, when I asked him if he wanted me to replace the spare on the window sill outside, he told me to keep it. So, now I have a key to Justin’s apartment and I have no idea what that means. I was hoping to figure it out tonight, but with all the visitors, it doesn’t look like that’ll be happening anytime soon.

I watch him as he talks to Lindsay and pulls out his checkbook. It is obvious Justin’s a good dad. Besides footing the bill for a lot of her expenses, I know for a fact he spends as much time with Becca as he can.

Justin had been working in his mini-studio when I got to his apartment. He has rental loft space downtown where he has an office and studio for his animation work and the few benefit art shows he does. But he has the mini-studio in his apartment for when wants to do something for himself.

There’s a small desk in there that he never uses. When I come over and he’s busy, I usually work on a little homework there. Since we’ve been doing whatever it is we’re doing, he’s been keeping the desk stocked with office supplies, which is kind of cute if I think about it too much.

Within an hour or so I was done with my homework and in the living room watching television and waiting for Justin to get done. He came out a few minutes later, and half an hour later we were in an intense make out session. Justin’s hand was down my pants and I was so close…so fucking close, when the doorbell rang. And Justin, with his fucking manners, actually got up to answer it. I’m going to have to help him get rid of those.

The person at the door wasn’t even important. It was Mikey of all people. Apparently he just had a brilliant idea and had to tell Justin right away, even though I’d already told him earlier today that Justin and I were spending tonight together. “Creativity doesn’t punch a time clock, Brian.” Well, creativity can kiss my ass. I was trying to have sex with my… Justin.

Mikey and Justin talked for two fucking hours about that comic book idea. After two hours I had to kick Mikey out. Once you get him going about something he never shuts up, and the last thing I needed was for him to hang out here all night. Justin was too nice to tell him to leave so I did it for him. Debbie was probably making dinner anyway, and she always gets angry when her baby boy doesn’t show up.

Justin had barely started making us our own dinner when Alex showed up out of nowhere. Literally out of nowhere. The guy didn’t knock. By the way Justin tensed and frowned, I had a feeling he didn’t approve. That’s something I’ll have to talk to him about later.

Alex had won a new account and wanted Justin to do the creative on it. The client wanted an animated ad, and animation was a weak point at the agency. They usually outsourced it. He’d brought over a contract for Justin to look over and sign. He didn’t want to put off until tomorrow what he could do today or some bullshit like that. And apparently he and Justin haven’t been spending as much time together, for what reason I have no idea. Alex came over to catch up. Turns out it takes an hour and a half to catch up. He invited himself over for dinner.

He wasn’t gone for more than ten minutes when Lindsay came over to talk about how Becca needed this and that, and I don’t know. I tend to tune her out sometimes. She’s a nice lady and all, but she likes to talk around things without ever saying what she means. Half of what she says isn’t worth listening to.

Justin plops down next to me on the sofa. It’s obvious Becca adores her dad. She reaches for him as soon as he sits down. Justin takes her off my lap and plants sloppy kisses all over her face, making her laugh. I look up and see that Lindsay is getting ready to leave. She packs up all her things and then picks Becca up. For a second I think she’s about to cry, but Lindsay distracts her with a toy. You got to love a kid’s short attention span. Lindsay finally leaves, and we’re alone. Justin slumps into the sofa. After a few seconds of silence, he looks at me. “I think I’m done for the night. I’m kind of tired.” Justin-speak for “no sex.”

I stand up to get my things. “I just have to grab my stuff, and I can get out of here.” Justin grabs my hand, and for a second I think he’s changed his mind about the sex thing.

But he hasn’t. “You don’t have go…if you don’t want to, Brian. You can just spend the night.”

Just spend the night…actually sleep with Justin. This seems like a step toward something big and I should really think about it or be worried about it, but what the hell, it’s not like I’m going to say no. “Sure.”

“Good.”

"So, what are you doing after graduation?" Cynthia's been asking this question for the last two weeks, ever since her acceptance letters started pouring in.

"I have no idea. You?"

"I got my acceptance letter to Pitt and they sent me all their information. You're required to stay in the dorms for the first year, so I guess the whole school and living arrangements thing is taken care of. I got a few scholarships. I'm going to have to take out loans for the rest."

I sit there silently playing with the straw in my soda, when I feel Cynthia staring at me.

"You are staying in Pittsburgh, aren't you?"

I have no idea. "I'm not sure. I got accepted to Pitt and CMU. There were a few out of state schools too. I haven't sent any letters back yet."

"You're leaving me!"

Leave it to a drama queen. I roll my eyes. "I didn't say that. I said I haven't decided yet. Pitt's a good school. Alex's alma mater. But you know me, Cyn. I've been dreaming of getting out of this city since before I can remember." I watch Cynthia as she digs through her purse for something. She pulls out a pen a small scrap of paper.

"We're going to make a list of pros of cons." I've already done this a million times in my head, but I indulge her and we end up spending the next half hour in the diner writing down the pros and cons of in-state vs out-of state. The whole thing just ends up making Cyn frustrated because really, there's not all that much keeping me in Pittsburgh. The list includes Cyn, Mikey, Deb and familiarity. The out-of-state list is full of things like starting over, more independence, getting away from Jack and Joan, meeting new people, etc.

Cyn sits back in the booth. "Well, I guess you are leaving me."

The one thing missing on that in-state list is Justin. And it's stupid that he'd have any kind of impact on my decision to leave Pittsburgh. But he does. I guess I've kind of gotten attached...kind of.

XXXXXXXXXX

I sit at Deb's kitchen table waiting for Mikey to get home. I don't know how I managed to beat him to his own house, considering I stopped by Justin's place before coming here. He' must be making out with Ben somewhere. Go them. "So, Michael told me you might not be going to school in Pittsburgh." Mikey and his big mouth.

"Yeah, I'm not sure, Deb."

"I thought you and Justin were hot and heavy?"

Who the fuck did she hear that from? "Who did you hear that from?"

"Who hasn't been talking about it? Liberty Ave's most eligible bachelor, Justin Taylor settles down with the hottest thing to hit Liberty Ave since Justin Taylor." I'm the hottest guy on Liberty Ave...I knew I was hot, but...yeah, yeah I can see that. Brian Kinney, hottest thing on Liberty Ave. "Smug doesn't suit you, Brian." Right, back to the conversation.

"Justin hasn't settled down. He doesn't even date like that. I heard he's more of a fuck 'em and chuck 'em type anyway."

"Where did you hear that from?" Deb shook her head and continued before I could answer. "If that were true, why hasn't he chucked you yet?"

I've been wondering the same thing. "Maybe I'm just an amazing fuck."

She laughs, actually laughs. "Honey, you're 18, you're not that good."

Cyn said almost exactly the same thing. Why must they all doubt me? Some people just have natural ability for this type of thing, right?

"Hey ma," Mikey's home. "I invited Ben over."

I catch Deb roll her eyes. For some reason she's never been a huge fan of Ben's. But he makes her baby happy so she deals. "Michael, before you and Deb begin your tearful after-school reunion--" I'm interrupted briefly by a slap to the head from Deb, but continue. I'm used to it. "I have something to give you." I pull open my messenger bag and hand a manila envelope to Mikey. "Justin had me trek halfway across town, via public transportation no less, just to hand deliver this to you. He said it was urgent. Couldn't wait until after we fucked, no, no. You had to have it now." I roll my eyes and sigh under my breath. "Comic books, I don't fucking get it." I speak louder so everyone can hear me. "Alright, I'm out of here. Justin owes me a few favors."

I'm halfway out the door when I hear Mikey's reaction to the contents of the envelope. "I don't even need these. He gave me these last week."

I turn back. "What?"

"I already got these sketches last week."

I pull out my cell phone. "You've got to be kidding me." I turn back around to leave and toss over my shoulder "I'll talk to you later Mikey." I'm over at the bus stop when my call finally goes to Justin's voicemail. Just as I hear Justin's polite voice say "leave a message after the beep," I hear thunder overhead. Needless to say, the message I leave isn't polite in the least. I think I ended it at a near yell, with "instead of having me do your fucking errands, you could have been fucking me!" Of course that draws the stare of a little old lady waiting for a bus as well. "Mind your own fucking business, lady." I hate eavesdroppers. The whole bus ride I'm pissed off, imagining what I could have been doing instead of riding public transportation.

By the time I walk from the bus stop to Justin's apartment I'm soaked and a little, maybe a lot, pissed. Before I even get in the door I'm yelling "Why the fuck did you send me halfway--" The dark entryway stops me. The entryway is never dark. I turn around the corner and call out, "Justin?" I smell him first. That weird combination of soap and paint. My arms are filled with him second. My eyes finally get adjusted to the dim light and I see a few candles spread around the living room. Leave it to Justin to actually own candles. And why am I thinking about candles, when Justin is in my arms and--I feel around--shirtless? Yes, very shirtless. I can do this.

Justin pulls my bag off my shoulder and over my head. He's walking us back toward his bedroom, unbuttoning my shirt and kissing me at the same time. Such a multi-tasker. By the time we get to the side of his bed, my shirt's on the floor somewhere, and my hands are down the back of Justin's thin sweatpants. Justin's lips move from mine to my ear. He whispers "I want you to fuck me," and I freeze. Over the last few months, Justin and I have done a lot of things in bed, but that hasn't been one of them. Every time we've been together, he's made it clear how things were going to be. Not that I ever minded. Sure, Justin has an ass made for fucking, but he also has cock made for fucking. And frankly, I'll take him anyway I can get him.

Justin places a few kisses on my jaw, interrupting my thoughts. "You should know...I haven't done this in awhile."

That's not too surprising. "How long is a while?"

Justin locks eyes with me. "College. The last time I was in a relationship." Now, that is surprising. The last time he was in a relationship. A relationship. "So, do you want me, Brian?" I'm a pretty smart guy, and right now I can tell we're not just talking about sex. Justin and I, in a relationship, together. The idea of it doesn't scare me. And no matter how much I've denied it in the past, it's what I've wanted from the start.

I'm not just a fuck. We're not just fuck buddies. We're...together.

I swallow before answering his question, "Yeah, I do."

XXXXXXXXXX

That night, as I come with Justin underneath me, the words "I love you" spill out of my lips. Justin's response doesn't come until we're both nearly asleep, him spooned behind me, his arm over my waist. I feel the soft words murmured against my neck, "love you too."

XXXXXXXXXX

I wake up before Justin and quietly get out of bed. I slip on the robe he bought me awhile back and walk into the living room, grabbing my messenger bag, before heading to his studio. I sit down at my desk and open my bag, pulling out all of my acceptance letters. I start separating them. A pile for out-of-state. A pile for in-state. A pile for Pittsburgh. As I'm looking at the three neat stacks, I feel arms drape over my shoulders. Justin's hands slip into the loosely tied robe. "What are you up to?"

"More of what we did last night."

Justin laughs and pulls away from me. He moves in front of me, sitting on the corner of the desk. "No, the papers." He nods toward the piles.

"Acceptance letters." I point at each one. "Out-of-state. In-state. Pittsburgh." The out-of-state pile is noticeably larger than the other two. One in-state school, Penn State. CMU and Pitt in Pittsburgh.

Justin nods. His voice forcefully casual, when he asks "so, where do you think you'll end up?"

I inhale and look at Justin. "Well, my boyfr--" I stop when I realize in the midst of all the sex we had last night, we never decided on the terminology.

Justin answers my unspoken question. "Your boyfriend."

"Well, my boyfriend is in Pittsburgh. So the choice seems obvious, doesn't it?"

He doesn't look as pleased with my answer as I thought he would be. "You're not staying because of me, are you?"

I think about it for a second and realize, no, I'm not staying just for Justin. "No, you are a big factor, but there are other reasons. Pitt and CMU are great schools. My friends are here, the city..." Another thought comes to mind. "Did you know I'm the hottest thing to hit Liberty Ave since Justin Taylor?"

Justin rolled his eyes. "Like your head needs to be any bigger. I can see it now. Brian Kinney, Stud of Liberty Ave."

I reach for Justin's hand and take it in mine. "That's okay." I pull him closer to me until he's kind of sitting in my lap. "But I think I like Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor's boyfriend, better."

Justin frowns. "You're not an extension of me, Brian."

"Okay, how about Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor, the Hottest Couple on Liberty Ave?"

Justin smiles. "I can live with that."

"Yeah. So can I."